Ash-The Matchmaker?
by Level X
Summary: Ash. He may be dense, a bottomless pit, and in love with Misty. But a matchmaker? Watch/read as Ash sets up our one and only... MAY AND DREW!


**Hey! Guess what! I don't own Pokemon! (Sadly)**

**Anyways, this idea came to me while sitting at a table watching Chopped (even though this has NOTHING to do with food or cooking), so it may not be the BEST fic I've ever written, but try to enjoy!**

**Also, it's partially a request by ****TheScoutFinch****, so here it is!**

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**Ages:**

**Ash: 16**

**Misty: 17**

**May: 16**

**Drew: 17**

**Brock: 21**

**Setting: First in a giant field thing.**

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I am Ash Ketchum. I am from Pallet Town, Kanto. I have a girlfriend named Misty. According to Misty, I am dense (but I don't think so), a bottomless pit (which is what, exactly?), and totally and completely hopeless. I don't even know what she means by that, but I KNOW I am NOT dense. See? I even know what dense means! I also happen to be the champion of Kanto. And Misty said I would never even get to the league. But enough of the intro. Intros are boring.

And speaking of that, _I'm _bored. Hey! Is that May... having fun... battling with... Drew? Wait, and he's even insulting her while she battles! I thought she thought he was annoying grasshead! She even has a nickname for him! "Grasshead!" Yep! And she always complains about how he ALWAYS flicks his hair in (and I quote) "SUCH an ANNOYING way!" I know that he flicks his hair a lot, but I don't know why May finds it that annoying. If I didn't know better, I'd say she has a crush on him. And I think he may just like her back. Hm. I'll ask Misty. Don't girls always tell each other that kind of stuff?

"Hey Misty!" I yell. Well, no turning back now. Unless I want to tell her I forgot and get whacked with her mallet...

"What do you want, Ash?" She asks, walking over. Ok. How do I say this? I have an idea...

"Um... Do you think May likes anyone?" Well. I don't think that came out right...

"WHAT DOES THAT MEAN, YOU LITTLE-!" Uh-oh. She sounded mad. Oh look! There's her mallet! Uh-oh. AAAAHHHHH!

"OOOOWWWWW! MISTY! STOP IT!"

Oh thank Arceus. She stopped. But she still has that glint in her eyes. Ok. Stay calm. DO. NOT. PANIC.

"Wait! I just wanted to know who she likes! So I can set her up or something!" I say quickly, not want yet ANOTHER mallet whacking. Ok. I think that did it.

"Oh, ok. Ash, sometimes you're so dense I don't even know why I stay with you." Well. She called me dense again. She laughs and swings her mallet back into hammerspace.

"Because you l-o-ove me!" I say smartly. Like a smart person. Who's smart. She sighs.

"Yes, I guess so..." She says. "But about your question..." She lowers her voice and beckons me closer. Ok then... must be a real secret then. "May likes..." She stops again and looks around. Oh come on, why can't she just tell me already! I fidget. "May likes... Drew." She finally said. I jump in happiness.

"YAY! I WAS RIGHT! WHOO-HOO! GIMME FIVE, PIKACHU!" I scream and hold my hand out to my best friend, who in return, does give me five. Five pieces of grass, that is. Misty sweatdrops comically while I just say "Thanks, buddy!" Pikachu grins.

"Pikapi! '_No prob!'_" Pikachu says. I smile hugely and look over at May and Drew, who have paused their battle to look over and probably wonder about my mental health. I grin nervously and wave to them, and they turn back to their battle, probably thinking it's just me being dense again. I turn back to Misty.

"Hey Misty," I say, tapping her shoulder somewhat annoyingly. She looks at me.

"What now?" She asks exasperatedly. I just grin widely.

"I just had an idea." I reply. She just looks at me. I look at her. She sighs.

"Well, can you tell me WHAT exactly your oh-so-great idea is?" She asks.

I start to jump up and down. Before I can get to my third jump, though, Misty places a hand on my shoulder and pushes me down so that I'm sitting. I pout up at her.

"Hey!" I whine. She sighs and asks again.

"Ok, so do you wanna help me set May and Drew up?" I ask excitedly once she's squatted down to my level. A giant smile filled her face at the thought of that, and her eyes glaze a little, like she's thinking about ways to do that. But unfortunately, she's so far off into space that I had to wave my hand really fast in front of her face.

She breaks out of her daze and snaps at me. "What?" She asks harshly. I cringe back at her tone.

"W-well, I just wanted to know if you had any ideas!" I say nervously. She brightens up after that and leans in again. I lean in too, but too much and too quickly, and we bonk our heads together. I fall to the ground, seeing stars.

"Ouch... Misty... your head is so hard..." I mutter, trying to get my vision back to its normal non-dizzy view. Unfortunately, when I manage to get it back, I see an angry Misty hovering over me with her mallet in her hand. I scream.

"AHHH! MISTY! I'M SORRY! I LOVE YOU?! PLEASE DON'T!" I scream some more. I look back up to see Misty's face still red, but apparently not out of anger, embarrassment. Hm. I wonder why. She looks at me, and for a moment, I think she's about to hit me, but she just sighs and swings the mallet back into wherever it came from.

She sighs again. "Ash, now I REALLY don't know why I stay with you..." She said, shaking her head. I pout. "But..." She starts up again, "I do have a plan for them."

I nod eagerly, waiting for her to continue. "It involves Legos and cake." She says. Now, a normal person would have thought that she had gone crazy under my influence, but me...

I grin hugely. "Then let's get started."

Over there, Drew wins and tosses May yet another rose. "For your Beautifly." He says and walks away. May blushes and stares after him. I have a feeling this is going to be easier than I thought.

* * *

An hour later and we're (me and Misty) sitting at the kitchen table in my house with a giant box of Legos and some chocolate cake that we somehow got Brock to make for us. It's all going well, except for the fact that Misty won't let me have any cake.

"Alright," Misty says, "Let's run over the plan again."

"Ok," I say, even though I already memorized it (it took a great deal of time, too).

"Ok. So first we're going to get Drew into your house. We'll give him some cake, and he'll start eating. Then May will come in and immediately see Drew and the cake. The first thing she'll probably say is either 'What are you going here?' which Drew will probably respond smugly to, or 'Hey, is that cake?' which Drew will probably also respond smugly to. You're invite her to have some cake, and when she's right near the table, I'll 'accidentally' drop the Legos that I just happen to be holding. She'll probably walk right onto the Legos and slip, right into Drew's arms. And then, if this all goes right, we'll hurriedly apologize and kick the Legos away and out of the room and give them some space. Got it?" Wow. That was a lot.

"Um... Sure... but what if it doesn't go accordingly to our plan?" I ask. Bet Misty never thought of that, did she?

She sighs. "Isn't it obvious? We'll just improvise." I raise my hand and open my mouth to speak. "Wha-"

"Improvise means to make it up." She says before I can finish. I put my hand down, nodding quickly. She sighs again.

"Ok then!" I say, clapping my hands together. "Let's do this!" I jump out of my seat and start running toward the door, but not before Misty grabs the back of my shirt and hold tightly so that I'm just running in place.

"Wait!" She yells. I stop trying to run and look at her. "We need to act normal. Don't be all... wild like you usually are. That will just give us away."

"Ok then!" I say, eager to get out of here. "I already have a plan to get Drew in here though!" She smacks her forehead.

"Yes, Ash, I already told you what to do. I'll get May in here too. Now LET'S GO!" She says, and drags me out of the house by my collar. I struggle hopelessly for a little, then just go limp and let her drag me. She takes me the short distance to the nearby river where Drew and May are arguing. When they hear us coming, they turn their heads in our direction and immediately sweatdrop. What's wrong? Aren't I always carried around like this?

"HEY DREW!" I shout at him, even though he's about three feet away from me. Misty dumps me on the ground, and I pick myself up quickly, Pikachu falling off of my head in the process (Yes, I put Pikachu there, it would have been weird if Pikachu had just disappeared, right?).

"Pika! _'Hey!'_" He says indignantly. I toss him some ketchup packets I always keep in my pocket and he runs off happily, ketchup in paws. Ok. Back to Drew. He's looking at us like we're both mental, and it takes a few hand waves to get him back to normal. He snaps out of it and returns to his original snobby self.

"Oh, what do you want?" He asks, flicking his hair. All is going to plan. Now just for my line... wait... what was it again? Oh poop. I forgot how to lure him in. I look over at Misty for help, but she's already gone off with May. Great. Now I'm all alone.

"Uh... Do you want to see my... mom's uh... contest ribbons?" I say randomly. He blinks.

"Now, why would I need to see _somebody else's_ ribbons when I can just look at _my own_?" He asks with a smug smirk, while flicking his hair. Again. NOOOO! What do I do now?! Ok. Do as Misty said, and just invent some stuff.

"Because... she's got some really old ones that even you haven't seen!" I say. He doesn't seem to buy it. I rush on. "Pleeeeeeaaasseeeeeee?" I ask, pouting. He sighs.

"Fine. Just this once. Besides, if they're really that old, I might be able to learn a little!" He says. Wow. That was easy. And Drew seemed almost... eager to go. Hm. Wonder what's with him.

I take his arm and drag him to my house, ignoring the cries of protest and the slight bumps that happen when I drag him over rocks and stuff. We reach my house, and I open the door and drag him in. He brushes himself off and looks around.

"Well?" He asks. "Where are those ribbons?" Oh right. The 'ribbons' my mom supposedly had.

"Uh..." I stumble around for an answer. Fortunately (or maybe unfortunately, depends on whether Misty feels like beating me up later), May is seated at the table, having some cake. Well. I guess we'll have to 'improvise' now. Drew follows my gaze and his eyes widen in surprise.

"May?" He says disbelievingly. "What are you doing here?" May looks stunned for a moment, but quickly regains her composure.

"Eating cake." She says like it's the most obvious thing in the world. "And I could ask you the same question." She adds while taking another bite of cake. Drew ignores her.

"And Misty... why are you here?" He asks. I follow his gaze up to her to find that she is looking at me with an expression of pure anger on her face. I'm going to get killed later...

"Oh, I invited May here." She responds. Ok then... looks like she expected Drew to be here first. Whoops. Ah well. Hopefully we can manage to get them together...

Drew looks back to May and the cake. "Hey, can I have some cake?" Before either I or Misty can respond, May smirks and beats us to it.

"You'll have to get it yourself." She says. Drew looks at her, then smirks, too. Looks like this is just May, Drew, and the cake now, so me and Misty exchange glances (Thankfully she doesn't look too angry anymore) and we inch out of the room, only to join at the door and peek at what they're doing.

Drew is walking over to May, who calmly takes another bite of cake. He stops right in front of her, and before any of us can register what he's doing, Drew quickly stoops down and kisses May.

Now normally Misty and I would have turned away, but someone has to describe the scene to the author, so we keep watching.

From the looks of it, Drew is stealing May's bite of cake while she's just kissing back. Finally, they break apart, May red faced and panting for air and Drew calmly chewing (Uh... Gross... :$). He swallows and says, "This cake is really good." May blushes.

"Uh... Drew... That's not exactly what I expected you to do..." She flushes even more at the thought. Drew smirks.

"Well, that's what I wanted to do from the start." May looks up and him and smiles. They're sharing a tender, loving moment, just staring into each other's eyes. Aw! That's really cute! But of course, I have to celebrate.

I jump up into the air, and scream, "Yes! We did it, Misty! We did it!" May, Drew, and Misty all turn to me with shocked expressions. Misty is the first one to react, slamming her hand over my mouth.

"Ow..." I say, muffled by her hand. Too late. Drew looks at us.

"Wait... You guys planned this?" He asks. He's figured us out. Run for it! I actually try to run, but Misty holds me tight. She sighs in defeat and nods. Drew opens his mouth the speak, but May smiles and cuts him off.

"...We love you guys, you know that?" May grins at us and I give her a thumbs up. Drew just smiles (Yes, smiles, not smirks) and shakes his head, chuckling quietly.

"Thanks, guys." He says. Well, that's the closest he's ever going to get to sincerely thanking us, so I give him a thumbs up too.

Misty releases me and we look at each other. Then, as if on cue, we high five and hug.

"Good job, Ash." She mumbles into my shoulder. I grin.

"Yes, I know." I say. And she hits me on the head.

...

I am Ash Ketchum. And as of today, I am a matchmaker.

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_**Hey did you guys hear? Apparently, as of 2013, Ash is officially 12! Crazy, right? He's no longer immortal!**_

**...**

**I'm on a roll! Second story thing finished in two days! YAY! Please review, I know it wasn't my best, but hey, I'm really tired right now.**


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